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Consent & Boundaries
A key step in learning about consent is setting your own boundaries and accepting other people’s boundaries, taping into the power of your own words to ask for what you want and need is something we all should know from childhood.
Consent and Boundaries are crucial to healthy relationships. Often times consent is mentioned when talking about sexual activity. However, people engage in consent activities every day. A child might ask if they can play a friend's video game or take a turn on the swings.
Consent means actively agreeing, giving permission, or saying “yes” to participating, engaging, or receiving anything. This might include hugging, getting gifts, sharing supplies, and sexual activity.
Boundaries are limits that people set for themselves to maintain their physical and emotional well-being. Learning from a young age to respect others’ boundaries, to set one's own boundaries, and to always receive appropriate consent in relationships, can support not only adults but also children and teens in having lasting healthy relationships.
What consent looks like:
Respecting that when they don’t say “no,” it doesn’t mean “yes.” Consent is a clear and enthusiastic yes! If someone seems unsure, stays silent, doesn’t respond, or says “Maybe…” then they aren’t saying “yes.”
Breaking away from gender “rules.” Women are not the only ones who might want to take it slow. Also, it’s not a guy’s job to guess or assume your boundaries if you don't communicate them.
Consent in a sexual context is a voluntary, and clear agreement between all the participants to engage in specific sexual activity. Expressed through affirmative, voluntary words or actions that are mutually understandable to all parties involved
If clear, voluntary, coherent, and ongoing consent is not given by all participants, it's not consent. There’s no room for ambiguity or assumptions when it comes to consent, and there aren’t different rules for people who’ve hooked up before. It’s crucial to ask for consent before engaging in sexual activity. Talking openly about what you both want and setting boundaries is important in any relationship, regardless of whether it’s casual or long-term.
But consent is not just about sex! Consent is something that we all give (or don’t give) every day. Did you allow someone to borrow your pen? That's consent! Did you agree to take your child to the park? That’s consent! Talking about consent in a broader and age-appropriate sense allows the more “adult" conversations about consent to flow more easily when the time is right.
Through theory and dynamics, you will find out if giving, receiving, taking, or allowing are part of your authentic yes. You will begin to acknowledge your fears by exploring your boundaries in a safe space. While learning to receive someone’s no gratefully, by acknowledging that saying no is an act of self-care. This practice can be combined with any workshop, retreat, or event.
We include the practice of consent in every event, program, or activity we share, below you can find events where Consent and Boundaries are included.
If you wish to learn this practice with your beloved, check out our couples programs.
You can also offer this practice at your retreat or event, inquire next.
